joy is so simple when someone's found it in you.

youwerethesonginmyhead:

Metric - Satellite Mind

“I’m not suicidal
I just can’t get out of bed
I drift into a deep fog
Lost where I forgot to hold it
I can feel you most when I’m alone
I can feel your ghost when I’m alone”

youwerethesonginmyhead:

This Day & Age - The Day We Started

“This is love my dear
But some things aren’t so clear
Like when you close your eyes
Do you dream of better, of better times
We’re touching the pen to the paper and drawing new lines

(I know that)
I found truth in you
I knew the day we started love dies too
Missing you since the day we parted

Nothing stays the same
With every loss you’ll find gain
I’m searching for a new hope
Love comes quick but it fades slow
We’re writing the words to the song we started years ago

(I know that)
I found truth in you
I knew the day we started love dies too
Missing you since the day we parted

Leaves die with seasons
Love fades away without reason
Leaves die with seasons
Love fades away without reason

I found truth in you
I knew the day we started love dies too
Missing you since the day we parted”


Love is an entirely curious experience.  I look at love and know that God has a sense of humor.  It comes and goes with no indication of what is coming next.  It makes us do stupid things.  It makes us question every single move we make and breath we take.  It also makes us do things we never knew we had the power to accomplish.  It affords us the opportunity to feel as though there are only two people in this entire world of over six billion people.  It is beyond words and above understanding.

We know when we’ve found love and when we have love in our grasp.  We are fearful of the next step, but giddy of what it offers.  Love is amazing because there is always hope in love.  I have never gone into a relationship thinking it is doomed from the start.  I always have a “glass is overflowing” mentality in a relationship.  Granted, I haven’t had many relationships (see previous post), but the ones I have had, I’ve been entirely hopeful.  But, I think I set myself up to fail because I’m a hopeless romantic.  I am weird about the way I envision things, because I always have this living-out-a-movie type deal that plays in my head.  And, it usually isn’t even close to working that way.

But, it is in love that we find truth.  We find power.  We find hope.  We find resolve.  We fight.  We cuss.  We scream.  We make-up.  All these things are where we know what we have is worth fighting for.  For me, I don’t know if it is the feeling I get when I’m locked in an embrace, the feeling of her head on my chest, the joy of waking up to someone smiling at me, the vibrating of my phone knowing there is a message, the smell of my clothes, the taste of a kiss, the chills her voice causes… I don’t know specifically what it is that draws me into this charade, but I know that I love love and I love being in love.  Even if it will eventually fade with the seasons.

youwerethesonginmyhead:

The Working Title - P.S.

“We all went home
To search ourselves
There’s no one left
To feed us now
We all want more
Than what we have
Just pick me up
And let me down

State your reason for cushioning your fall
I call it treason please share with me your thoughts

I’ve learned to find my place to hide
My circus of rust and lies
We take it down these holy ties
Just run away and follow blind

State your reason for cushioning your fall
I call it treason please share with me your thoughts
State your reason for cushioning your fall
I call it treason please share with me your thoughts

Do you enter lives
Without knocking or warning?
Do you count the lives
And pace the night ‘til morning?

State your reason for cushioning your fall
I call it treason please share with me your thoughts
State your reason for cushioning your fall
I call it treason, share with me your thoughts
State your reason (to walk away)
I call it treason”

If anyone has spent their life trying to find a place to hide, it has been me.  I have always been extremely reserved, introverted, and slow to reveal any personal details about myself.  The reasons for this are that I know that if I never really open up to someone, I won’t have as much to lose and that if I need to get out of a situation, whether a friendship or romantic relationship, my fall will be cushioned by the fall for the mere fact that I won’t have far to fall and I’ll have all the things I’ve stayed away from sharing to land upon.  It’s really a great system.

Until I sit back and think about how things could have been different had I opened up.  I’m someone who rarely regrets my decisions or finding myself thinking, “D’oh!  What the hell was I thinking?!”  But, when I look at the friendships I’ve built and the relationships I’ve been in, there is really very little depth to a lot of them.  I am, for the most part, a “what you see is what you get” (for lack of a better cliche) guy.  I do a lot of fucked up things, but don’t we all?  I have things that make me excited and things that make me sad, things that are uppers and things that bum me out, and I have my demons that I fight day-in and day-out.

But, as I get older, I find myself fairly far removed from a lot of relationships and working through a lot of things on my own, often utilizing music and movies/television as a medium to get me through my issues.  Maybe I’ve lived my life scared to fall and find comfort in the fact that the abstract can’t let me down.  Maybe this is why dark humor and dark movies and musicians that are fighting with their inner strife get me off like nothing else in this world.  Whatever it is, I’ve always lived my life trying to cushion the fall, when, in this life, the beauty of love and fulfillment is in the fear that I might fall.